Posts by Lady Lee

14

EXJW`s Helping EXJW`s

by Beans in

jw
friends

would you help a fellow exjw out in times of need?

if sisterxxx had needs and approached you for help in a certain area would you?

if a current jw wanted your help supporting him or her in front of a judicial/investigative committee would you?.

Helping others regardless of religious affiliation is exactly how I live. I doubt in my case that this was taught to me by the borg. In fact the opposite they tried to take that out of me and only programmed what they considered help. I just posted in another thread how when my friend 9 an active sister in the cong) was dying of cancer I was counseled against spending so much time taking care of her. In the eyes of the elder my time would be better spent going door to door. So much for loving your spiritual family. I chose to ignore the elders and listen to my heart and conscience.

If someone really needs help (and aren't just out to use me) then I am there

Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002

116

Whats the dumbest thing you were counselled for?

by Beck_Melbourne in

jw
friends

i was once counselled by the elders for watching 'knots landing'....it became widely known in the congregation that me and a few other sisters would rush home from field service to watch our favourite soapie.

if we missed it, we would ring each other up for an update...or...if we weren't near a tv we would ask someone to put the phone handset on the top of their tv so we could hear it...pathetic huh...but that was all the excitement we could scrounge up in our otherwise dull and uneventful lives.

one of the elder's wive's conscience got the better of her...and she confessed to her husband..lol.

Lady Lee

I was counseled for not going in service. As an elder's wife I had to set an example.

Seems that they thought I was wasting my time.

We had a sister in the cong who was deaf. She was dying of cancer and had chosen to die at home. The family needed help to take care of her and they needed someone to call the paramedics when the time came and an interpreter to explain why she died at home.

My husband - the elder - resented the time I spent helping this sister and her family. I was missing meetings so they could go to some meetings. I was missing service - not a good example. And I wasn't home to cook his meals - although they were cooked he just had to heat them up.

I spent as much time as I could with this sister and her family for about 3 weeks before she died. I tried to arrange for other sisters in the congregation to help and take shifts - got counseled that I was trying to act like an elder for that one.

In the end this woman's sister and I held her hands while she took her last breaths. She died peacefully at home with people she loved around her.

I was able to assist the family with the paramedics and doctor who had to come to the house and with the making of the funeral arrangements.

I was counseled that I was not putting first things first. We were to be more concerned for the living not the dead.

I would not have it any other way. I could not bear the thought of deserting this sister and her family at this time and feel honored that they allowed me to share such private moments with them.

It was worth the counsel. And I would not go back and change a thing I did.

Remembering Ana

Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002

27

When Is Disfellowshipping Appropriate?

by Englishman in

jw
friends

is the societies policy of shunning unrepentant miscreants scriptural?

this is what the nwt has to say:.

moreover, if your brother commits a sin, go lay bare his fault between you and him alone.

Lady Lee

Hmmm that would mean that they had no grounds to disfellowship me since their supposed reason was something I did only one time. Hmmm which leads me to the conclusion I had all along that the real reason they dfed me was so that the cong would not find out that one of their elders was abusive to his family.

Great solution - get rid of the victim and keep the abuser. In fact even let him marry another sister and abuse her too. She too found her only escape was one where she was dfed. And she was out and he was still in - talk about a society that protects the abuser.

Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002

18

Therapy suggestions.......

by flower in

jw
friends

ok as those of you who know me know i'm a little wacky since my exit from the borg.

i've decided that its a little more than can be solved with just this board so i'm calling in the pros.

hopefully they can just do some type of operation and remove this borg chip that is still implanted in my brain.

Lady Lee

Flower the best way to give insight to the therapist of what it is like to be in the borg is to let her know that it is like being in a very controlling dysfunctional family - that gives them a huge step forward into the dynamics of what you will be dealing with. Most therapists have at least an inkling of dysfunctional families and blurred boundaries. This will give you more time to actually deal with your problems and issues and have to spend less time educating her (or him) about the borg.

When I first went to counselling I was still very ashamed to admit I was a JW. I felt like such a failure. Later on I realized I wasn't the failure - the system was. Putting the pieces back is hard work but truly the best work you will ever do.

Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002

24

What's the point of the Awake?

by Marilyn in

jw
friends

admittedly it's been a long time since i've read an awake and i can't remember much about what's in it but doesn't it contain a bunch of superficial articles with a general interest theme?

like a poor mans readers digest?

i was recently wondering what the purpose of the awake is?

Lady Lee

<<The Awake is bait>>

yup that is the perfect word for it

Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002

24

What's the point of the Awake?

by Marilyn in

jw
friends

admittedly it's been a long time since i've read an awake and i can't remember much about what's in it but doesn't it contain a bunch of superficial articles with a general interest theme?

like a poor mans readers digest?

i was recently wondering what the purpose of the awake is?

Lady Lee

I always used to think the Awake! was a round about way of getting people to take the magazines. For those who were not so interested in the theology of the WT they could always get the mags into their hands with the readers digest version of the WT reality.

I also thought it was a way to keep the kids from going to the library to do their homework research. No matter what school topic they were assigned there was bound to be some Awake mag that talked about it. Lordy wouldn't want those kids getting hold of real books in the library and finding out how badly the borg quoted.... er misquoted other sources

Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002

34

Effectiveness of Psychotherapy

by larc in

jw
friends

on a previous thread, the question of the effectiveness of psychanalysis came up.

since then, i have done some research.. a recent article* summarized the results of three literature surveys, and the author came up with the following conclusions:.

1. for major affective disorders, and major psychoses, psychpharmacological treatment works best.. 2. for symptomatic anxiety based disorders, such as phopias, generalized anxiety disorders, panic disorder, obsessive complulsive disorder, and post - traumatic stress disorder, cognitive and behavioral treatments work best.. 3. for personality disorders and complex comorbid disorders with an underlying personality disorder, long term relationship therapies work best.

Lady Lee

Ideally the best therapy is the one that works for you. And the best therapist is one who knows their limitations and will refer when needed.

It has also been my experience that an eclectic therapist - meaning one who will use any and all methods available to them to help the client. This sometimes means working with a psychiatrist who can prescribe needed medication that keep the patient stable enough to do much of the hard emotional recovery work for real change to occur.

<<I think cognitive therapies are good as quick band-aids. Real growth requires you discover the constitutional underpinnings of your personality. You need to know what you want out of life and your preferred way of getting what you want. You need to know what you avoid in life and your preferred way of avoiding what you don't want.>>

Good therapy does exactly this - it is not a bandaid solution

Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002

46

Post your poems, or others' poems

by ashitaka in

this is my view of the witnesses, keeping to the jw theme here.

i'll post a nice love poem too to make up for it.. comon people, show me your work, or stuff that you like!.

ashi.

Lady Lee

FEAR IS...

FEAR IS...
the indrawn breath you hold to not make a sound.

FEAR IS...
the shallow breathing to pretend you are asleep.

FEAR IS...
the pounding sound in your ears and your heart.

FEAR IS...
the smell of breath and sweat.

FEAR IS...
the taste of a dry mouth and swallowing nothing at all.

FEAR IS...
a shadow that you see in the corner of your eye.

FEAR IS...
the jump that places you firmly on the ceiling at a single touch or sound.

FEAR IS...
sweaty palms and frozen muscles.

FEAR WAS...
me as a child.

Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002

34

Effectiveness of Psychotherapy

by larc in

jw
friends

on a previous thread, the question of the effectiveness of psychanalysis came up.

since then, i have done some research.. a recent article* summarized the results of three literature surveys, and the author came up with the following conclusions:.

1. for major affective disorders, and major psychoses, psychpharmacological treatment works best.. 2. for symptomatic anxiety based disorders, such as phopias, generalized anxiety disorders, panic disorder, obsessive complulsive disorder, and post - traumatic stress disorder, cognitive and behavioral treatments work best.. 3. for personality disorders and complex comorbid disorders with an underlying personality disorder, long term relationship therapies work best.

Lady Lee

the simple answer would be that behavioral therapy focuses on your behavior (phobics would be slowly desensitized to the object of the phobia)

Cognitive therapy would focus on the understanding of the problem and ways to deal with it.

Both cognitive and behavioral therapies might have components of the other within the therapy but the main focus would be one form of therapy.

MY personal opinion is that for real long-term change to occur every person needs adequate and correct information about their problem. Part of any therapy should include the cognitive component - even for those who most benefit from the medications that can do wonders for those who need them.

Sadly not enough people are adequately informed of their problem or the possible recommended solutions.

As for reshaping your thinking - I would say the answer is YES it does. In the hands of an ethical therapist this is a good thing. Many problems that people have stem form incorrect thinking - like the assault victim who blames herself for the assault instead of blaming the perpetrator. This is the kind of thinking that would need to change.

Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002

12

Childhood experiences as a JW

by mikepence in

jw
friends

what was it like growing up as a child, being a jw?

did you fear armageddon with every thunder storm?

agonize over the imminent death of all of your worldly playmates?

Lady Lee

Mike before given any part of my story I would want more info about where and how this info is to be complied and published on-line. I s this something you will be making money with? Or is it simply another informational website. Will you be asking for releases for peoples stories?

Too many people here have been used and abused and you are asking for them to trust you with thier stories. I don't know you. I hope maybe some of the others do.

More info please

Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002